Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
