just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
