I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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