Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
