Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
