Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
