My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
