I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
