so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
