this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize