He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
