Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
