smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
