Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
