Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
