Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
