: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
