My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My ass is underappreciated
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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