babies were throwing up all over the place
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
