I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
