filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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