is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
