it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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