Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
did you just send me my own nude
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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