No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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