I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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