I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I looked at my own cervix.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
