That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
