does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
