So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
