okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
