how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
