i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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