insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
