i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
