i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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