Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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(408): View more from California

i fucked her mom dude

(1-408): View more from California

there's something to tell the kids

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(815): View more from Illinois

he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How was the picnic?

(516): View more from New York

We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.

(413): View more from Massachusetts

Why didn't you put them down?

(516): View more from New York

No beer left behind.

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(630): View more from Illinois

She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.

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(406): View more from Montana

At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house

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