I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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