We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
