Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Two words: blizzard sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize