Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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