I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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