If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
