wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize