That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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