Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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