remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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