Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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