she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
