i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it because I queefed?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
