I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
