Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
