College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
