D3 body, D1 cock
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
