LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
