The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
