So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
