Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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