honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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