areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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