never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
