Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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