Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize