How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
