I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
