So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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