Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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